Because I Have Nothing Better To Blog About...

I must like punishment, I must enjoy annoying myself, and I must love pure and utter torture. Those are the only reasons I can figure why I do this to myself every season. What season you ask? Well...not winter. Not summer. Definitely not spring or fall. The season I'm talking about has nothing to do with the weather, and has everything to do with television and a lame reality show called The Bachelor. I'm sure you're familiar with it, and if you aren't, don't. Just stay away. It's awful. Which makes it all the more ridiculous that I get sucked in every season. But I can't stop. I've become addicted to the whole messy horribleness that defines each and every episode.

Tonight was no different. At 7:00, I turned the t.v. on. I sat and rolled my eyes. I moaned at the sappy parts. I groaned at the hormonal overload that seriously sucks. I complained out loud about the same old drama drama drama that plays out each episode...and guess what? I came up with a list of ridiculous catch phrases that need to be permanently banned from the show. You know how much I love making lists...so here they are :)...

1. "I didn't think it would be this hard"

Seriously? You didn't realize going onto a show with 20 other women to fight for the attention of one man while watching him go out with and make out with every other girl would be hard? Define hard. Because I'm pretty sure your definition of it is wrong. Math is hard. Rocks are hard. Dating a guy along with 20 other women? Super easy!

2. "I hate seeing you with the other women"

Really? Because I know I would LOVE to be in a situation where my "potential" husband was macking on 20 other women. In fact, I wish that's how Tim and I would have met. So romantic, don't you think?

3. "This is the best date ever"

Of coarse it is. How many people do you know that get to go on a date where you take off in a private jet to Paris and eat a very romantic dinner on top of the Eiffel Tower, and then bravely jump off and are caught by 10 billion butterflies that are trained to fly you to a dolphin sanctuary where you magically turn into mermaids and follow the underground yellow brick road to Atlantis where you are showered by diamonds and rubies, all of which you get to keep. Really? Have fun coming back to reality when the show is over, and you have to plan your own dates which will most likely involve staying at home and watching your season of The Bachelor and seeing your man mack on all the other women before he chose you. Sounds like a blast to me!

4. "I have so much to give"

This is usually said while the girl is doing the sad walk of shame after not receiving a rose. I know I'm sounding a bit repetitive, but...20 other women have "so much to give" as well. They just gave a little bit more than you...usually in the form of some type of gross make out session which usually involves me having to close my eyes because it's way to graphic for my innocent Mormon girl upbringing.

5. "I'm really falling for this girl"

No you're not. You just think you are because of all the fancy la-dee-da that you've been experiencing to help you on your way to love. Give it a couple weeks after the cameras have left, and you're stuck at home on a weekend having to think up things to do together. It better be good too...because after all...she's kinda gotten use to the lavish outings that she got to go on during the show...and I don't think dinner and a movie is gonna cut it. Maybe if diamonds are involved...or a private jet to some unknown island...good luck with that.

Who knows. Maybe this season will be different. Maybe Brad will really find love. Maybe they'll really end up getting married. Maybe they'll have 8 kids. Maybe they'll discover a unicorn in their backyard. Maybe they'll raise dragons. Maybe they'll find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Maybe they'll live happily ever after. However...I highly doubt it.

Just keeping it real.